A Revealing Story of Grace & Forgiveness

Claire Culwell was raised in an adoptive family where she felt deeply loved and thrived. Her life had been so rich and full that she never considered trying to learn anything about her birth mother. That changed when her younger sister, Rachael, also adopted, got to meet her birth mother. Later, as a relationship developed between Rachael and her birth mother (Olivia), Claire also met Olivia. Claire noticed how alike Rachael and her birth mother were, and she began to reflect on how grateful she was that Olivia had made the choice to place Rachael up for adoption. It was the first time Claire personalized the courageous decision her birth mother had made.

Meeting Rachael’s birth mother gave Claire the desire to find her birth mom and tell her how thankful she was for her choice. She was a little nervous about how her adoptive parents might feel until she learned they fully supported her desire. Her adoption was a closed adoption, so neither she nor her parents knew any details about her birth mom. Knowing it might be a long shot, they began the process. They were able to locate the caseworker, and while she could make no promises, she agreed to help. A few weeks later, Claire received a call from her case worker (Debbie) with the news she had found her birth mother, and she was willing to talk to her. She also learned her name was Tonya, and when she gave birth to Claire, she was only fourteen years old.

After their initial phone conversation they decided to meet at a location between their respective cities. Their first meeting, which included Claire and her parents and Tonya with her husband and two children, was wonderful. Claire and Tonya continued to have conversations and eventually decided it would be nice for her to visit Tonya at her home in Oklahoma. That visit would reveal a part of the story that would change Claire’s life forever. After a wonderful beginning to their time, Tonya asked Claire to join her in a place where they could talk alone. Claire shared a card with her mom, including a personal note to express her gratitude for the choice she had made to give Claire life. Tonya began to cry. Claire recalls:

My birth mother stammered through the truth about my birth. It was not the story I had believed for the past twenty years. I put my arm around her as the shock pulsed through my mind. In a moment, the story of who I was changed radically. At once, I saw that just about everything I had assumed about my birth was not what had happened at all.

Tonya shared the story of how, as a pregnant fourteen-year-old girl, she had been forced by her parents to have an abortion. A few weeks later, after some continued physical complications, they discovered she had been carrying twins. One had been aborted, but the other was still there.   Because Tonya was now in her third trimester, it was illegal to perform an abortion in Oklahoma.   Tonya’s mom took her to a nearby state where third-trimester abortions were legal, but instead, Claire survived and was given up for adoption. The full story is told in the book Survivor: An Abortion Survivor’s Surprising Story of Choosing Forgiveness and Finding Redemption.

While God, in His grace, has turned Claire and Tonya’s horrific beginning into a beautiful story of forgiveness and redemption, it also provides real names and faces to the almost unimaginable realities of abortion. Her story, along with others like Melissa Ogden, who formed the Abortion Survivors Network after surviving a saline infusion abortion, humanizes the hundreds (some estimate thousands) of abortion survivors in the U.S. 

The Primary Moral and Justice Struggle of Our Time

This month in Arkansas, the 47th Annual March for Life will be held at 2 p.m., Jan. 19, 2025, along Capital Avenue to the front of the steps of the Arkansas State Capitol. This observance is a peaceful and prayerful event that attracts thousands of Arkansans from across the state, including churches and families, to remember the millions of unborn children killed by legal abortion. In the U.S., the lives of more than 70 million human lives have ended because of abortion.

This event, sponsored by Arkansas Right to Life (ARTL), will remember the 52nd anniversary of the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion in the United States on January 22, 1973. On June 22, 2022,  the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in the case of “Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization.” The Supreme Court ruled that the U.S. Constitution does not confer a right to abortion, returning the authority to regulate abortion laws to individual states.  

While many thought the Dobbs decision outlawed abortion or that the issue was settled, we have seen this is far from reality. Many states, even some thought to be pro-life, have rushed to pass pro-abortion laws and to enshrine abortion rights in their constitutions. In the two years following the Dobbs decision,  it has become increasingly clear that while the decision overturned an earlier bad legal decision and returned the right to regulate abortion to the states, the culture has shifted. In a day of growing relativism and individual expressivism, a majority of Americans, including many professing Christians, have moved significantly toward valuing the “right to choose” over protecting the lives of innocent unborn children.

In Arkansas, abortion is currently illegal. However, a significant attempt was made in the last general election to place a proposed amendment in the Arkansas Constitution to make abortion legal. More efforts will likely follow. 

Abortion is not primarily a hotly debated political issue, although it has become that. It is the primary moral and justice struggle of our time. As we remember the anniversary of Roe this January, how should we respond?

God is Calling His Church to Respond

Pray

• First, we must pray. We can start with prayers of lament. We must grieve for not only the loss of millions of unborn lives but for the ongoing pain of those who have experienced abortion and for the silence and passivity of the Church.  
• Pray that God will give courage to young mothers and fathers facing an unexpected pregnancy to choose life. Pray that churches will show the love of Christ through compassion and practical support.
• Pray churches will recognize the spiritual warfare in the struggle to protect innocent lives.  Our struggle is not against flesh but against spiritual forces in the heavenly places. Pray we will courageously speak the truth and fear God instead of man.
• Pray for a day in Arkansas when abortion is not just illegal but unthinkable.

Equip

• As churches, we can proactively teach the biblical view of human life. The Case for Life by Scott Klusendorf is one of the many excellent resources that can help.
• Develop a clear and official church position on abortion and communicate it publicly and regularly.
• Teach the first principles of marriage to adult church members, including young adults.
• Teach people to have winsome conversations that speak the truth about abortion in a way that leads to the gospel. Street Smarts by Greg Koukle is a great resource.

Love

• Develop ministries in the church to give love and compassion to those who are considering or have had an abortion.
• Develop ministries in the church to love and practically support young women who have chosen to give life.
• Support adoption and crisis pregnancy centers and networks.
• Volunteer in community organizations that provide lifeskills mentoring to young adults, including healthy relationship skills.

In the concluding chapter of her book, Claire writes:

God uses things that were meant for evil and turns them into things that are beautiful and fruitful, like he did with me. Bad things have been transformed into beautiful things in my life. My journey has included plenty of pain and bumps in the road, but God took someone destined for death and turned me into an advocate for life. He took something bad and made it into something very good. Now that I can see the bigger picture, I truly appreciate that I survived, grew up, and now have my own family. It’s possible you have something in your life that’s painful and doesn’t make any sense at this moment. You, too, can trust in the God that sees the bigger picture and experience the transformation that takes place when the heart moves from fear to trust. 

One woman who knew how to do this was Mary, the mother of Jesus. She faced a seemingly bad situation. She was a teenager who was pregnant out of wedlock and living in a very traditional religious culture. The society all around her dismissed her and judged her. It’s amazing to me that her husband-to-be, Joseph, stuck around. It must have been a troubling time for Mary, but she trusted God, put her fate in his hands, and gave birth to the baby boy who would save the world. At the time, she couldn’t see the bigger picture, but we can all see it now.

Like Claire and Melissa and those they represent, may we courageously speak out on this issue until abortion is not only illegal but unthinkable in Arkansas for the glory of God.