Marriage & the American Founding
With the 250th anniversary of America just around the corner, many commentators are reflecting on the virtues that made our country great, like liberty and faith, and rightly so. But there is another very important element in this recipe most people are overlooking—the role of marriage in the American founding.
Believe it or not, we wouldn’t have America without the fundamental (and radical) belief that a nation doesn’t need kings or princes but rather God-honoring husbands and wives to create an ordered and flourishing society.
It was this confident belief in the institution of marriage that created America and still sustains her today. And it’s also a simple solution to guarantee our continued blessings for the future.
Let’s begin at the beginning with the Puritans.
A New World
When the Pilgrims came to America, they weren’t just seeking refuge from Catholic persecution. They also wanted to create an entirely different kind of society, one that would align with a biblical way of life.
The Puritans rejected the notion that only a certain class or bloodline could rule the people. Instead, they believed government should be ordered as God directed Adam and Eve in Genesis 1:28:
And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
The Puritans recognized that this was God’s original plan for building a civilization, and it wasn’t given to kings or princes. This mandate required no special breeding or education. All that was needed were faithful married couples who loved God, kept his commandments, worked heartily as unto the Lord, and passed on that legacy to their children.
This groundbreaking concept was explained in A Godly Form of Household Government by Puritans John Dod and Robert Cleaver in 1598. They maintained that the home is a miniature government in its own right, a starting point that grows into communities.
This influential work highlighted the importance of marriage and parenting as a good for society. It was based on the idea that when a home is well-ordered with everyone fulfilling his or her proper role, children learn to live ordered lives. They grow up to obey authority and learn the consequences of disobedience. In other words, ordered families create ordered civilizations.
When the Pilgrims landed in the New World in 1620, they were far away from the rule of King James I, so they developed the Mayflower Compact and agreed to govern themselves. This would be accomplished by living out the ideas of Dod and Cleaver—each family living godly, ordered lives.
It was this mindset that allowed Plymouth to thrive as a colony. Husbands, wives, and children arrived together with a vision for God’s plan to establish society through families. Schools appeared quickly. Churches were raised. And the government was systematic and orderly.
Plymouth vs Jamestown
The importance of the family unit in the American colonies is not lost on historians. And it’s easy to see the difference it made when you compare Plymouth to Jamestown, which was mainly settled by single men at first.
The men of Jamestown cared more about finding gold and seeking adventure than faith or family. Most of them planned to get rich and go back to England. For about a decade, the colony struggled with disorder, instability, and death from disease, starvation, and Indian attacks.
The settlement would have failed, except that a man named Edwin Sandys realized the colony needed something more precious than gold—women. In November 1619, Sandys requested “to send over one hundred maids to become wives: that wives, children, and family might make [the men] less movable and settle them, together with their posterity in that soil.”
This decision stabilized the colony. According to Daniel J. Ford, author of The Legacy of Liberty and Property, without this decision, “the Jamestown colony would not have survived long … A man’s family provided the moral underpinning that a successful colony needed. The man who wed and then rooted his family in the soil was often amply rewarded for his wise investment, and this colony was certainly blessed with the godly increase of lasting virtue.”
An emphasis on godly marriages and families became the cornerstone of the American way of life. As the colonies grew during the next hundred years, these principles were passed down, fertilizing the philosophical soil of freedom and planting seeds of independence.
The Equality of Men
The idea of a nation ruled by God, sustained by men and women of faith (not bloodlines), and carried on by their children was summarized by our Founding Fathers in this phrase:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
The phrase “all men are created equal” was a two-fold message: First, all men, no matter their status, are created in God’s image, capable of complex thought and understanding. And second, as intelligent beings, men are able to govern themselves. The founders maintained there was no gap between the common man and the aristocracy.
This concept didn’t come out of thin air. The idea that no man was born with a natural right to rule another and that the government must rest on the consent of the governed (individual families) rather than bloodline was a belief passed down to them from their Puritan forefathers.
Our founders also inherited another concept—the idea of posterity, which they often mention in their writings. Posterity is an old-fashioned word we rarely use today, but it simply means “for future generations.” The founders knew that in order for our country to sustain itself, the principles must be passed from parents to children.
America depends on and has always depended on the strength of families. And strong families depend on healthy marriages. This secures our rights. It reinforces the equality of all mankind. And it gives us the mechanism to pass down these beliefs from generation to generation. It’s that simple. And that’s why it’s so important to protect marriage today. This is where the Church comes in.
What This Means for the Church
If Christians want to keep our rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness—if we want to continue enjoying our religious freedoms—each home has a duty to fulfill.
These rights and freedoms won’t be secured by another law passed or the right party being in power. The only way to guarantee our heritage is for each home to embrace its responsibility to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength; love and serve your spouse as Jesus has loved and served us; and pass down a godly legacy to the next generation.
Theologian Joseph Boot, author of The Mission of God, summarized it well. He said, “The key to godly transformation [in our land], the key to the future, is in our homes, as individuals living in humble obedience to Christ and as families saying, ‘as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord’ (Josh. 24:14-15).”
If each individual home looked inward and sincerely sought to remedy two issues, we would immediately improve the country:
- What sins do I need to remove from my life?
- What spiritual disciplines do I need to add or improve?
This can be done regardless of who’s in office or what laws are passed by Congress. And it should be encouraged from every pulpit in America.
What It Means for Church Leaders
Pastors and church leaders have a profound opportunity in this regard. There are so many different ways you can reach your congregations with the message of healthy marriage and parenting. Here are some suggestions:
First, you can preach on what makes a healthy marriage. The Bible is full of passages that talk about relationships. Even with some scary words like “submission,” there are many online resources that can help interpret those passages in a sensitive way. (I love the website gotquestions.org for complicated issues.)
You can also work with your youth pastor to address topics like dating, sex, and finding a potential mate. Most kids get their education about relationships and sex from the internet. Your church may be the only source of godly information for your young people on these topics.
Second, you can start a marriage ministry in your church. It might include a yearly marriage event or date night. Or it might include an ongoing marriage Bible study. This isn’t as daunting as it may sound. There are many great national and local marriage ministries that can be a resource, such as:
- Arkansas Baptist Children and Family Ministries: This ministry offers a weekend marriage event called Marriage Tune-Ups, taught by licensed counselors who come directly to your church, and it will soon offer a small-group curriculum.
- FamilyLife: Weekend to Remember marriage events are held across the country, and this ministry offers articles, books, and curriculum, such as The Art of Marriage.
- Reengage: Developed by Watermark Community Church, this ministry offers a discipleship-focused large- and small-group experience for couples, focusing on community and personal testimony.
- Grace Marriage: This ministry focuses on the long-term health of couples, focusing on preventive care before a couple reaches the crisis stage.
These resources are just a few that come to mind, and there are many more that can meet your church’s particular needs.
Third, consider uniting with a growing number of churches in the Arkansas Marriage Initiative. This partnership connects churches with resources in our state that invest in marriage. By joining this initiative, you can access information specifically for your local community.
Couples need help now more than ever, and starting a marriage ministry is a great way to help them find peace and healing. It’s also a great way to open doors for sharing the gospel.
America is made of families—millions of little commonwealths all across our land. By strengthening each home, we are supporting the foundation of our entire nation, and we can make real change, regardless of what goes on in Washington.
Make marriages and families strong, and you strengthen America now and for future generations.
For more information about the Arkansas Marriage Initiative, go here.
